I guess whoever said that never experienced the loss of a son, or a daughter.
Cause as far as i'm concerned, no parent should ever outlive their children, no parent should have to bury a child....
Time doesn't heal a wounded parent's heart. In my case, i just get used to the pain. It's like being a leper, you simply get on with life, try to be as normal as you can be, make the most of what life has to offer, despite all the wounds.
Having another daughter after the loss of my only son was a blessing. Indeed it was. She put a smile back on our faces. She's a handful..my little tasmanian devil (the Looney Toon character), taught us how to laugh again, like truly laugh again in a genuine manner. She wasn't conceived for the purpose of being his replacement. Not at all. As far as me and my wife are concerned, she's the latest addition to our bunch. And deep in my heart i thank her for all the joy she brought along with her.
But despite all that, 4 years after losing my son, and i'm still coping. The memory of the loss doesn't make me cry anymore. I've stopped doing so, with the thought that...surely that's not what he would want me to do for the rest of my life. Coping...because tragedy like that changes a person. It changed me.
"Take away a man's child, and he'll live the rest of his life like he's got nothing more to lose". Nothing scares me now. Death doesn't scare me. What scares me is the thought of leaving the rest of my children unprepared for the life ahead of them. Bodily pain doesn't bother me anymore. As far as i'm concerned, i lost my son, the son we waited for more than a decade to arrive. What could be more worse than that?
And yet...the sight of a father and son bonding moment whether on movies, or out in the streets, makes me jealous, or envious. My heart cries deep inside when i see movie scenes wherein a child lies on a hospital bed....or scenes wherein a child expresses adulation for his/her father. It swells me up deep inside that i have to suck it all up lest they flow out of my eyes.
It made me tough, and turned me soft at the same time. I don't know anymore which is me on the outside and me on the inside.
Around my youngest daughter...i'm very very protective. I guess it's because of what we've been through. I am what a cybernetic oranism, a terminator is to John Connor. Tough, right? And then she goes "Dy...bar (fudgee bar)..pleeeeasssee?" And the terminator goes "o...k....sweetieee...i love youuu". It's embarrassing sometimes.
Oh well...enough ranting for the day.
But despite all that, 4 years after losing my son, and i'm still coping. The memory of the loss doesn't make me cry anymore. I've stopped doing so, with the thought that...surely that's not what he would want me to do for the rest of my life. Coping...because tragedy like that changes a person. It changed me.
"Take away a man's child, and he'll live the rest of his life like he's got nothing more to lose". Nothing scares me now. Death doesn't scare me. What scares me is the thought of leaving the rest of my children unprepared for the life ahead of them. Bodily pain doesn't bother me anymore. As far as i'm concerned, i lost my son, the son we waited for more than a decade to arrive. What could be more worse than that?
And yet...the sight of a father and son bonding moment whether on movies, or out in the streets, makes me jealous, or envious. My heart cries deep inside when i see movie scenes wherein a child lies on a hospital bed....or scenes wherein a child expresses adulation for his/her father. It swells me up deep inside that i have to suck it all up lest they flow out of my eyes.
It made me tough, and turned me soft at the same time. I don't know anymore which is me on the outside and me on the inside.
Around my youngest daughter...i'm very very protective. I guess it's because of what we've been through. I am what a cybernetic oranism, a terminator is to John Connor. Tough, right? And then she goes "Dy...bar (fudgee bar)..pleeeeasssee?" And the terminator goes "o...k....sweetieee...i love youuu". It's embarrassing sometimes.
Oh well...enough ranting for the day.
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